The Disappointing Plumber

I stifled a yawn as the numbers on the elevator dinged slowly upwards. I glanced at my watch – eleven minutes early.

That should make my boss happy, I thought grumpily, wishing I’d gotten a coffee after all.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open, revealing my boss standing there, a panicked expression on his face.

‘You’re not the plumber!’ he cried out as soon as he saw me.

‘No, I’m your… wait, what?’

‘Get out of there!’ he leant forward, grabbing my arm and yanking me out of the elevator. ‘He could be waiting in the lobby!’


‘The plumber!’

‘Why do we need a plumber?’

‘Do you know how to fix a clogged drain?’

‘Uhhh,’ I frowned. ‘I guess I know the theory, roughly—’

‘No, you don’t,’ he snapped. ‘Because you’re not a blocked drain plumber. He gestured for me to stand behind him.

‘Aren’t all plumbers blocked drain plumbers,’ I grumbled to myself, dutifully standing beside him.


‘Nothing,’ I sighed. ‘Which bathroom is it?’

‘All of them,’ he whispered, his eyes losing focus. ‘It’s… it’s terrible.’

‘Eek,’ I grimaced. ‘I hope you called the best commercial plumbers available around Melbourne, and not just, y’know—’

‘Steve, thank god!’ my boss stepped forward as the elevator dinged open again, grabbing the plumber by the hand and shaking it vigorously.

‘Not just your dim-witted brother,’ I sighed. ‘Again.’

‘What’s the issue?’ Steve asked, a bleary look on his face.

‘It’s the drains, Steve,’ my boss shook his head. ‘They’re all blocked.’

‘All of them?’ Steve raised an eyebrow. ‘How is that possible?’

He suddenly noticed me, and his gaze turned into a leering grin. ‘You been showering in the office again, Lucy?’

‘Go to hell, Steve,’ I said with the biggest grin I could muster. He chuckled, reaching back to scratch himself. I tried not to vomit. Steve would make the problem even worse.