“So, Cosmo, what sort of positivity do you think you could bring to our conveyancing firm? We have a reputation as the best conveyancers Melbourne has to offer and want to start doing good in the world too.”
Cosmo sat completely stunned. This was the fifth conveyancer he’d been to since meeting his new friend, Perd the goblin. Each had asked this exact same question when he explained the circumstances and odd situation he had been put in. They never denied that they were the conveyancing lawyers he was looking for, instead always asking what exactly his special skills were.
He had absolutely no idea. What could a kobold with a bad habit of watching the horse races and a fondness for clown paintings and collecting customised yo-yos offer a conveyancing firm? He was utterly useless.
“Well, you see, I’m pretty good at swinging baseball bats. So you know, I could stand outside your building and scare off any loiterers. A sort of three-foot-tall bouncer, if you will. Now, I know a normal bouncer would probably be more useful, but I would be cheaper than a normal bouncer, wouldn’t I?”
“Listen,” said the conveyancing lawyer, leaning close and whispering. “Here at Conveyancing Caulfield, we take our work very seriously. We can’t just associate with anybody who says that they have special skills which can help us. We’re going to need a little bit more than that to be convinced that you deserve to be a friend to our team members. What else can you do?”
Cosmo had a long think about this difficult question. What was he good at? “Now that I think about it, I am an expert at drinking hot sauce. Like, I can drink that stuff straight out of the bottle. No milk after it or anything. Is that the sort of skill you’re looking for?”
The conveyancing lawyer just smiled at Cosmo, but his eyes revealed extreme disappointment. “No. I’m afraid not. Now get out.”